As I’m writing this, I’m still hearing the comment an engaged person made to me today:

“I don’t even think we want a ceremony.”

I had to take a breath, then realize that somewhere along the way, many of us have forgotten (or perhaps we never knew) why we’re even planning a wedding at all. Of course, we want to celebrate our decision. Of course, we want it to be a beautiful day with great food and drink, gorgeous clothing, and lots of dancing.

But here are my thoughts about why your day just isn’t as sweet and beautiful without a CEREMONY:


1. Getting married is about a transition of your identify. It is built around a ceremony, which is the most important element.

2. The ceremony is a way for you to process that transition, and to make it real.

3. The ceremony is the centerpiece of the day’s legal power. During the ceremony, you will declare your commitment – taking your vows to be faithful to each other. Afterward, your pastor or officiant will sign paperwork signifying you did that, and then will mail it to the county courthouse.

4. After your ceremony, you feel emotionally charged, full of excitement about the life that awaits you, but also full of reverence for the power of love and gratitude that you found your soulmate.

5. When your witnesses or guests have seen you make this declaration, you will cement the longevity of your relationship and set the tone for your journey together.

6. Without the ceremony, it’s a very expensive party.

As you plan your wedding, don’t overlook the ceremony. It doesn’t have to be religious. It doesn’t even have to mention God or any higher power. It can be long or short.

But don’t let its importance disappear behind the song list or the catering menu!

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